Day 102 - Poop in a Purse!

OK - run, right now, to your purse or diaper bag. What's the weirdest or funniest thing you've got in there? SHARE! Mine was a petrified banana peel from WEEKS ago that I had forgotten in a zippered pocket. Awesome. I also found three almonds, a thimble, and a teeny tiny steering wheel from one of Sebastian's trucks. If you had asked me yesterday, it would have been a poopy diaper, because that's what I've been reduced to.

Like many New Yorkers, I have a tendency to carry everything I own in my purse just in case (of what? an embroidery emergency? WHY do I have a thimble in there?). Time to lighten the load! Here's what I'm keeping:

*diaper bag only

• top pocket: cell phone, 2 pens, lip gunk
• side pocket: glasses case, small camera
• front pouch: keys, subway pass, iPod
• back pouch: umbrella
• inside pockets: wallet, Tshirt & shorts for S (in case of toddler disaster)*, 2 diapers*, wet bag*, couple of wipes*
• main: eReader, water bottles, snack bag, Hot Wheels car, Queen of Everything zippered bag (holds a tack of store cards, my business cards, a Tide pen for stains, a couple of pantyliners)

And that's all, folks! No more thimble, no more spare car parts. So, what's in your purse? Lemme see!

Day 101 - Practicing Safe Sun

WARNING: Please do not view this author without proper eye protection: her blinding whiteness may result in permanent eye injury. You have been warned.

Oh Dear Reader, the luminous-fish-belly-pale expanse of my skin is a sight to behold. Or not. And how do I maintain that near-blinding degree of pasty whiteness? Why, with my trusty sun cream, of course!

Once upon a time, porcelain white skin was a sign of nobility - if you aren't toiling in the sun with the common folk, you must be rolling in cash. In fact, women used to spackle their faces with lead-based cosmetics and arsenic powder to accentuate their ghostly pallor (what's a little poison slathered on your face? please - don't be a wuss!). We can blame Coco Chanel for the beginnings of the tanning trend, and it was all downhill from there. I remember greasing myself up with baby oil in the 80's and laying out in the sun until I sizzled to a golden red brown; for the record, I also had Sun-In sprayed in my hair, which resulted in fetching orange streaks. Such were the 80's.

Now, the only person subjected to my luminosity is my dear hubby, and he ain't complainin'. I'd rather paste on the sunscreen and keep the wrinkles at bay than have to have my face cranked up in 15 years. And, for Sebastian, I don't want to get the call one day that he has malignant melanomas all over his body because mama didn't protect his skin (guilty guilty guilty.....). But what kind to choose? Chemical sunscreens are easy to put on, but, predictably, I have my fair share of questions about the safety of said chemicals. The natural stuff is indeed natural, but man - that zinc oxide is le poo to put on and you practically glow in the dark. The other option is to wear a sassy burka.

After researching the pros and cons of making your own sunscreen (ad nauseum, I might ad), I came away with this: let the pros do it or you'll end up looking like Frosty the Zinc-Oxide plastered snowman. Find a brand you like (California Baby has a nice one, and Yes to Carrots is very spreadable, and 97+% natural - that's not bad at all). I road tested Burts Bees, but I have to say that it wasn't my favorite (though I LOVE their other products). Long sleeves when you can, sunscreen when you can't. Add in shade whenever possible (duh), and a big floppy sunhat to make you look all glamorous (you're going to need it to cover the white zinc line around your forehead). Put on huge sunglasses and pretend you're famous. A French accent helps.

Day 100 - Part 3 - The Final Chapter

Oh sweet heavens. Are you baking? And by baking, I don't mean pies, I mean honest-to-goodness broiling in this steamy soup of a heatwave? Let us all take a moment to give thanks for the air conditioning that is keeping many of us from going postal. OK - let's wrap this review up!

• still love my VitaMix, and my cabinets have not reverted to their Doomsday state (woot!)
• still cookin' the beans, makin' the salad dressing, etc. I could do more, but I could always do more. A little slacking is good for the soul.
• I would love to tell you that I'm all caught up on my virtual scrap booking. I am not, and Sebastian may never know that he used to climb up on the coffee table nekkid and shout, "SO BIG!!!!" at the top of his lungs. I really must catch up, because the teenager-embarrassment fodder here is just. too. good.
• let's just say my kitchen is still a work in progress, but I'm hopeful.
• I'm managing to choke back at least two glasses of green juice each day. Actually, it's growing on me (like a fungus - mwah hah hah!).
• still not stressing about Sebastian's development/intelligence. The kid's doing just fine. In fact, he's shouting, "BIG GIANT POO!" from the other room. That can't be good, but his sentences are coming along nicely!
• if you do nothing else, put all your spices in identical stacking containers, or something similar. This has been awesome.
• rocking the hippie crystal deodorant! But oh - heaven forbid you forget to apply it one morning, you go all Paris 1963.
• getting really good at letting things go - stuff, projects, etc. At it's core, it's letting go of the person you thought you would be a) if you did it and b) when you finished it. It's OK to be a person who doesn't read Dickens.
• I'm awful about taking a day off, and I really NEED to start. Making this a priority, stat.
• still enjoying a news fast. If it's important, I hear about it. If I want or need to know more, I look it up.
• still enjoying my paired down jewelry and wardrobe
• sewing a little girl's dress and a corset (for me, not the little girl) - sewing is awesome
• tried the Diva Cup, total convert
• coffee is awesome. Totally guilt-free environmentally goody-goody coffee is better.
• black socks come with a lot of lint, so my feet sometimes look alarmingly dirty (and, truth be told, sometimes they are alarmingly dirty), but I love the no matching.
• laundry is as easy as it's going to get, and I'll keep you posted on my detergent making adventures
• getting goooooooooood at letting the phone just go to voice mail
• Dr Bronners and avocado oil seem to be doing my skin good, only time will tell....
• routines are good - we get more done
• babysitter = new best friend
• haven't fired up my oven in a good long while - getting creative with not cooking has actually been kind of fun

Aaaaaaaand.... I'M DONE I'M DONE I'M DONE! What possessed me to do a retrospective? I won't do that again. All in all, my little experiment is working well for me, and I'm a-gonna keep going. I have a lot more time now, which is being filled with other things, but it's stuff I've chosen, not stuff I'm saddled with. Next up? That purse/diaper bag is too darned full. Please don't ask with what...

Sebastian's first look at a polar bear

Day One Hundred - Part Two

Before we jump back in, I must tell you that Sebastian is eating wasabi peas. While wearing noise-canceling headphones. In the nude. It's just so awesome.

• still not sanitizing anything, and I'm thrilled to report that we haven't succumbed to The Plague
• still flying with Flylady and using the nifty natural cleansers
• I still hate strollers (though I use one when I need to... eh....), and have taken to using a baby leash. More on this (and the fantastically dirty looks I get) soon!
• I've abandoned practically all coupon clipping in favor of using that time to grow my business. Someday when I have an intern (or in a few years when I can really put the young 'un to work), I'll clip again!
• my sewing stash is out. of. control. I still have way too much fabric. I'm sewing my very first tiny dress for a friend's little girl. Sebastian doesn't know it yet, but he's going to be wearing said dress this afternoon when I have to adjust the fit and hem it. I might take pictures.
• I still maintain that you have to childproof for the child you have. We saved a TON by getting creative (shutting doors, hiding the toilet plunger on top of the refrigerator, etc.) and only buying stuff to fix long-term safety issues or things that were making us googly-eyed crazy.
• we've done pretty well keeping the toys to a minimum. Sebastian loves stupid little cars and trucks more than anything in the world, so that was easy.
• all my "things with cords" live in or around the charging station. Still haven't gotten around to putting everything on a power strip that I turn off at night to save electricity. WHY? Why haven't I done this? Maybe today.
• Sebastian still has a love/hate relationship with the vacuum cleaner, which he calls "The BACOO!"
• my desk is still clean!
• it's summer, so my hair is always up, but my cut is really good. Next, I'm gonna add a big blond streak (a la Rogue from X Men, NOT like Cruella DeVille or a skunk. I hope.)
• still think memories are the best gifts! Pictures, adventures, homemade love. Gimme!
• not baking quite as much bread now that the mercury is soaring, but ya'll - I got goooooooood. Can't wait for fall to really start in again! My very favorite? A velvety olive spelt loaf that was pure heaven when paired with a goat cheese Gouda from TJ's.
• my computer is all cluttered up again, but I've already started deleting files. More on this one soon - I can't be the only one suffering from e-clutter!
• I have gotten way better at taking care of the little drive-you-crazy things (the picture that needs to be hung, the pile of magazines, the petrified food bits clinging to the high chair, etc.)
• my hall closet is still (mostly) clean and clutter-free
• I broke every single one of my New Years Resolutions in a week and was totally OK with that

I'll be wrapping up this (no doubt fascinating) retrospective next time, and then it's back into the fray. Sebastian has just upended an entire bucket full of beans onto the kitchen floor. Don't ask. Happy Saturday, everyone!

DAY ONE HUNDRED! WOOT!

Nothin' like a little stomach bug to derail, well, everything. FUN-ity fun! Don't fret, I'm all better now (but skinnier - BONUS!). This is my ONE HUNDREDTH POST!!! (cue fireworks and can-can dancers... confetti canons...go!) Over the next week, I'll be taking a look back at what's worked, what decidedly hasn't, and where to go from here. And awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay we go!

1. Conditioner - Lube of All Trades! I've switched to coconut oil as conditioner/moisturizer/makeup remover, etc. Works great! For mowin' the walkers? Dr Bronners, baby!
2. Buh-Bye Books! I've used my friendly neighborhood library for everything from bestsellers and ebooks to audio books, and it's saved me a mint! Bought the young 'un a few, but that's because he liked to eat them, and I'm sure the library wondered who was gnawing on their board books.
3. Financial Failure - my finances are still way. too. complicated. Revisiting!
4. 6 Small Meals Per Day - ahem....revisiting this also (it's been more like 6 small meals per hour...)
5. Got rid of my face potions - just Dr B's and avocado oil, and danged if I don't look younger! Helloooooo twenty early thirty-something!
6. Down to Dr B's, coconut oil, a razor, & a hair brush in the shower. Only thing that would make it simpler would be to give up showering all together! Hmmmm...
7. Chucked a bunch of shoes - WIN! My feet might be ugly, but they're happy.
8. I laughed so hard I wee'd a little when I read that I was actually going to attempt to limit my internet time to three 15 minute segments each day. Good one. Perhaps that means I should look at this again? EEEW - I smell skunk! Sorry - tangent. It's just really weird to smell a skunk in Queens.
9. The pared down wallet thing actually stuck! Me likey.
10. I don't go to bed when I should. It just feels so Deliciously Naughty to stay up past my bedtime! Of course, it feels Totally Le Poo the next day, but still....
11. Still traveling spare, and trying to teach Sebastian how to load a luggage cart.
12. I still look like a Frumpty Dumpty, but only 50% of the time instead of 100% - that's a 50% improvement in my hotness, people! Score.
13. Slowly making the switch to nude and black undergarments only. Prerequisites: they must cover my derriere, be mostly cotton, and lacy enough so that if I'm in an accident, people won't say things like, "Poor dear, she gave up hope!".
14. I actually need to go get re-fitted for boulder holders, but what's the point until after the boobs are "retired" from active duty? (for those of you who've just tuned in, extended nursing. I don't make my living off them or anything. THAT is a funny thought.)
15. I wound up keeping my Shape and Oprah subscriptions (I actually read them), but someone keeps giving me a subscription to Rachel Ray Everyday Something and I can't figure out how to cancel it. Great recipes, but I only make one every 25 days, and we just don't eat that many burgers. Seriously - who eats that many burgers?
16. Lost my Gruve somewhere along the way. Saw that one comin', didn't you?
17. I still don't know where the hell all my time goes.
18. Will always love my crock pot, but it's lying cold and lifeless until fall, when it will be resurrected in all it's cozy, warm, yummy glory. 
19. Still keeping the meds to a minimum (bourbon doesn't count, right?).

More soon - it's a lot to slog through. Nite nite! And WHERE is that skunk smell coming from? Outside... definitely outside....

Day 99 - Doctor Drill-n-Fill

Remember Doctor Drill-n-Fill? The delightful flip top head which you could fill with PlayDoh teeth and practice your dentistry skills?

Dear Reader, Blogger just ate the rest of this post. It was good. It was thorough. And Blogger ate it. Now that it is gone, I am practicing letting it go instead of trying to recreate it - I'll just revisit the topic another time. Make no mistake - I am steamed. However, in my fury, I seem to have reached a weird Zen place of acceptance. I'm sure that in a few minutes, I'll snap out of it and swear a bit. Maybe eat a whole bar of something. Anyhoo....

Stay tuned because next time is my ONE HUNDREDTH POST!!! WOOT! I'll be taking a look back at what's worked, what has decidedly not worked, and where the heck to go from here. Join me, won't you?