The Flats Challenge!!!!

Love this! Some awesome mama's are turning receiving blankets and whatever else they can get their hands on into cloth diapers and covers  and then hand washing them for The Flats Challenge. That kind of prairie can-do is right up my alley! That said, I'm juggling enough crap at the moment, so I will not be participating. But here's a great post from fellow mama blogger Pam Dayton about her adventures in poop-slings - love the part about the diaper churn. Check it out!

Cloth diapered booties are the cutest!!!!

Day 92 - Oh, Just Slap Some Goo On It Already....

Last week, I slathered an overpriced goo on my face that smelled like chemical death, had the color of charcoal, and the consistency of phlegm - all in the name of beauty. It promised to completely resurface my skin, make it glow, dissolve my wrinkles, and raise my IQ. Did it work? You be the judge.

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful. It occurred to me, as I was spackling this stuff all over my face, that perhaps I shouldn't be using things that smell like death and iron the wrinkles out of my skin. Maybe that's not The Way Things Ought to Be. And let's be real - even when a friend of mine got Botox, I didn't notice - I'm not convinced other people really notice these things anyway. Try this - the next time you get a zit, instead of trying to cover it up, highlight it with a marker & see how long it takes someone to mention it. So, banking heavily on the oblivion of others,  I tackled my skin care.

1) Replaced my cleanser with good old Dr Bronners - face, body, hair. Awesome.
2) Replaced my Evil Smelling Charcoal Colored treatment/moisturizer with pure avocado oil (so far, I actually like the results better!)
3) Replaced my body lotion with food-grade coconut oil, and I am glowin', people!

So now, I'm slicking myself up with coconut oil, using corn starch as powder, hippie crystal deodorant rock on the pits, Dr Bronners as all-over soap, and homemade hair-styling products (another time - I found some great recipes). Hell, I'm probably days away from never shaving my legs again, dousing myself in patchouli, and taking a looooooooooong ride on the granola train. I've gone from 20+ personal care products to under 10, all costing less than $25 total, and it's all Natural-Like.

And now, for an amusing glimpse into this first week with the hubby out on tour:

Well, of course one wears a monkey backpack while
climbing into the toilet! Yes, I took the time to go get a camera.

Can you spot the toy that doesn't belong?

Completely conked out during rehearsal. He was so cute I almost ate him.

Day 91 - TV Dinners - Remix

My mom occasionally trots out the story of the first time she and her brothers were ever served a TV dinner. It was the night before a move - everything was packed up in boxes and shipping containers - and my grandmother served them the latest and greatest from Swanson: turkey with gravy, cornbread stuffing, mashed potatoes, and maybe a dollop of cherry cobbler. TV dinners were brand spankin' new in the 1950's (here's a neat article on how they came to be); if you wanted to eat, you generally had to cook and make things from scratch. Lawzy, how times have changed!

Can you imagine a life without prepackaged food? Can you remember the first time it was served to you? For better or for worse, it's here to stay. On the up side? Oh, the convenience! Open, maybe mix in a little water, heat, serve! On the down side? Well, for starters, is it even food? Or just an edible food-like substance? Even if it's mostly "food", chances are that there are Major Downsides - everything from the traditional offenders like freaky additives, preservatives, and enough sugar/salt/fat to land you in the ICU before Friday, to more recent concerns like where it comes from - factory farm, laboratory, manure pile in China, etc.

My mission? To streamline dinner without having to resort to Trader Joe's frozen enchiladas every night (though they are mighty tasty). It isn't so much an issue when Marty's home, but when he's on the road, it's way tougher to make myself cook, especially when Sebastian is being "spirited". I also teach aerial fabulousness two nights a week, which throws another wrench in the cogs. So, here are my options:

- there are times when it's easy to cook, like when you're hubby's NOT on tour. During those times, I try to cook double and freeze the leftovers.
- all hail the Crock Pot - King of All Kitchen Appliances! Not only does the CP cook while you're off preparing for world domination, you can pre-assemble your meals, freeze them, and when you're ready to do your thang, just defrost & dump it in! Dinner is served... 8 hours later.
- I absolutely HATE menu planning, but thankfully there are ways around this. My personal favorite is to totally outsource this most hated of jobs! There's an awesome book by Leanne Ely called "Saving Dinner" that plans your meals by season and even gives you a shopping list! Her website also has weekly "menu mailers" you can sign up for, and several great e-cookbooks that you can purchase and download. We became "flexitarians" awhile back (a topic for another post), so I got the vegetarian one for all four seasons and am loving it. Have a look, or do it yourself if you're so inclined. Either way, it makes life WAY easier if you don't have to wonder what you'll be serving for dinner (at 5:45 with only ketchup and wilted Romaine in the fridge).
- convenience food (mostly Trader Joe's - a lot of their stuff is higher on the healthy, lower on the crappy) on the nights when I just don't get it together for whatever reason. Or, there's always pasta and sauce!

So that's that. I'm also not getting terribly ambitious with meals while he's gone, so that's easier too. Do you have any super simple tips to get homemade food on the table? Shout 'em out!

My sweet loves, pictures with the Hated Orange Touring Suitcases

Day 90 - Time to Make the Doughnuts

Batten down the hatches, ya’ll, it’s a virtual tidal wave of preparation before my sweet baboo heads out on the road, leaving us to fend for ourselves. *sniff* I’ll tell you – I have a whole new respect for the mamas and the daddies at home while a spouse is deployed; I honestly wonder how they do it. One thing is clear: this household is going to have to be run with military precision until he gets home, or Marty will return to find me silently rocking in a corner while Sebastian goes all Lord of the Flies.

Routines! I need routines! And a schedule! And a, timer! And a lobotomy (!), cause as every mama with small children knows, the best laid plans are the first ones to go all to hell the first time somebody poops in the tub or upends your potted plant onto the kitchen floor and rolls in it.  So, in direct contrast to my OCD nature, I am choosing a soft focus here. My first impulse is to try to schedule my days down to the minute to make sure I get everything done, but it never works and I just wind up watching my Hulu queue with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, feeling completely overwhelmed. Routines – yes. Timer – yes, Soft schedule – yes. Here’s what I came up with:

-      I made a list of what needs to get done each day/week/month. What really needs to be done, not what my Inner Superhero thinks needs to be done.

-      As per Flylady, use my timer to help keep me focused

-      Also as per Flylady, make a morning, afternoon, and evening routine

This is what it looks like if you care:

Morning Routine – nurse Seb, everyone dressed, breakfast, kitchen ready for the day (dishwasher unloaded, re-loaded, bread set out to rise, etc.), emails, Bible study, take Seb out for a jog in the stroller, shower, story time, nap time

Afternoon routine – do stuff, lunch, pole dancing class (kidding, kidding), afternoon errands/rehearsal/park/outing after nap, playtime, dinner prep

Evening routine – dinner, kitchen close down, Seb bath, Seb bed, free time (woot), 10:00 Mama bedtime

Here’s hoping this will work for the most part, because what I usually do is stay up too late “getting stuff done”, wake up exhausted the next day, slog, slog, slog, vicious cycle, slog, slog, slog… you get the picture. I really can’t let that happen again, because please believe me when I say all parties involved are miserable. So, routines in place. Next up: food made redonkulously simple (no, Miss Snarky, it’s not “open can, pour, heat, serve!). Of course, it ain’t London broil and risotto, either! Here’s a hint: it involves the freezer….

Oh – and here’s a picture of my awesome Amish dress. Actually, it’s too fancy to be Amish (pattern), so it’s more Old Order Mennonite-y I think. Shapeless? Yup! Modest? You betcha! I’ll post pics of me in it as soon as I get around to sewing the apron and head covering. I never go half-assed.

Day 89 - Sew Simple

Don't you hate it when people make puns with "sew"? Sew thrilling! Sew fabulous!  I couldn't resist – sew sue me. As you may have guessed, Astute Reader, today's topic is the thready, heady world of the fabric arts; and what better way to start than by telling you that I sewed my first (and likely only) Amish dress! That I will never, ever wear in public!  Now, I can hold my own in the sewing arena; I would say that about 60% of my current wardrobe was fashioned by my own two hands, but this dress was something of a special project. Tune in next time for embarrassing pictures – trust me, you don’t want to miss it.

I've heard from many a Home Ec Dropout about the first dress they attempted - cut in two when it should have been cut on the fold, four sizes too small because they mistook the bust for the waist measurements, a trip to the ER when they sat on the pin cushion. But, Dear Dejected Sew-er (if you don't add that hyphen, it's "sewer", which makes for an altogether different image, don't you think?), don't despair. Anyone can cut out some fabric, run it through a machine, and come up with something more or less wearable. Like any skill, it takes time to get zippy with it, and you may not be ready for "Project Runway" anytime soon, but it's worth investing some effort. It’s awesome to be able to alter store-bought items, or sew clothes that suit YOUR God-given figure in colors that YOU prefer instead of being limited by what Michael Kors and Lady Gaga think are ‘tres chic’ in any given year. Whether it’s purely practical, or an outlet for your crazy creativity, it’s just nice to know that you’ve got options.

I’ve been cobbling together all my scraps and making yard after yard of bias tape and reusable totes for my groceries (the ones I have are all BORING – who says reusable totes all have to be ecru or stamped with The Nature Conservancy logo?). I’m going through an I-must-use-up-all-my-fabric phase since having all those projects in my closet feels like a burden, like too much of anything, What do you do with your scraps?  

Old bags are getting FreeCycled!

Lookit how pretty!

UPDATE: Marty is taking the Brittney tour (as in Spears, people), so stay tuned as I try to figure out what measures really need to be in place before he leaves for a good chunk of time (a closet full of red wine, a drawer full of Xanax chocolate, and a household that runs like a well-oiled machine).

Day 88 - A Visit From an Old Friend

Alright gentlemen, stop right here. I sincerely doubt that you will want to venture into today's territory, so I'm giving you an option to turn around, go back where you came from, and forget everything you've seen here. Today's topic is of a (*delicate cough*) feminine nature. Look at 'em run, girls! This post is not for the faint of heart - if you're shy or squeamish, you've been warned.

Alright. Doesn't this remind you of the day in fifth grade where they made all the girls go to the gym to watch The Movie? And how you thought you'd just die? Well, today we're talking periods - The Curse, Aunt Flo, TOM (Time Of the Month), menstrooooooooooation. Now, before we get all "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret", I assure you, Dear Reader, that I will treat this topic with all the reserve and subtlety that you've come to expect from my blog..... OK, I'm about as subtle as a sledgehammer, so let's get on with it, shall we?

I didn't have to worry about these shenanigans during my pregnancy, or during the first 16 months of breastfeeding (all you mamas-to-be considering breastfeeding - another perk!!!!!), so let's just say I was surprised to find this issue back on my radar a few months ago, but also kind of happy that the plumbing seems to be in working order again. What was also surprising was my reaction to my almost forgotten stash of tampons, panty liners, etc. I looked in the bin and saw, well, a few issues I hadn't considered before: the wasteful packaging & all the $$ & resources that went into it, the hyper-marketing and subtle message that it's gross and by the way your vagina should smell like a rose garden, and the sheer volume of supplies (maxis, minis, super, vortex, etc). So, I thought it might be worth considering some other options - let's see what's out there! If it doesn't work out, hey - there's a CVS four blocks down!

We cloth diaper Sebastian, but I honestly hadn't considered that my many of my "monthlies" are made of the same ultra-absorbent gels, plastic (read: oil) based shells, and paper packaging. In fact, the average woman will go through 10,000+ disposable feminine products in her lifetime - ouch! Our decision to cloth diaper was largely an environmental one, so could I apply the same standard to myself? Rephrase did I want to apply the same standard to myself? Not really, but lest I be labeled a hypocrite, I figured I ought to see what my options are. Enter Luna Pads. Just like a cloth diaper, you use, wash, and reuse these cloth pads. You can make them yourself too (I'm going to try this first - they're kind of pricey!) - call Martha! I think I have a craft for her next show.

The next option I looked into is the Diva Cup. This is a reusable doohickey that looks a lot like an elongated diaphragm, but instead of keeping the swimmers out, it collects menstrual flow. OK, who am I becoming that I would even consider this???!!!! But to be fair, it has a lot to recommend it, and I ordered one today to try it out. Jeez - next thing you know, I'll be out nekkid in Central Park during a full moon, chanting and dancing in celebration of the Feminine Spirit. I'm a New Yorker - we don't do that (or if we do, we surely don't talk about it).  

The other option, of course, is to use all "green" supplies. But this whole experiment is about not being afraid to do things a little differently, at least for awhile. I may use a combination of all three methods, since I don't know that any one thing is the answer to my simple prayers, and who knows? I may find an option that works better than what I'm doing already. Anyone else have any experience or thoughts about this? And now, you know way too much about me. So let's avoid eye contact for awhile, and we can forget we ever had this conversation. Back to class, girls!

Day 87 - The Magic Elixir of Life

Are you someone who does not drink coffee? Avoids caffeine? Drinks yerba mate` or green tea and gets a buzz? Honestly, what’s wrong with you? Don’t you know about The Magic Elixir of Life? Post Sebastian, I valiantly attempted to wean myself down to one cup a day, but I’m waving the white flag – the Toddler Years are just not a good time for this. Besides, I love my coffee! Warm, creamy, sweet JOLT OF CAFFEINE TO MAKE ME NICE-ISH. And as my caffeine delivery system of choice, it’s included in my great experiment.

First, let us consider the humble coffee maker. Now I know some of ya’ll are pretty serious about your caffé’, what with the fancy gizmos and the mocha-choco-caramel-whippy-foamy-twirly-foofy coffees. For all that, I make a trip to Starbucks (I like mine extra twirly, and the guy with the faux-hawk usually gives me an extra espresso shot – I think he’s sweet on me… yeah, I still got it). In the morning, after I stumble into the kitchen, step on one of Sebastian’s stupid little plastic cars, and whack my head on the cabinet somebody left open, it’s all I can do to scoop some powder in the machine and slosh some water into the compartment (hell, who am I kidding – that’s all I can manage at most any time of day). So, I need a Very Simple Coffee Maker. Enter the kind folks at Gevalia Coffee who send you a FREE coffee maker if you buy some of their wares. Done and done.

A true New Yorker - fuggit the mug, gimme the bowl!

Next, I ordered a reusable coffee filter from reuseit.com – an amazing site which aims to help the good folks of this country reuse more and toss less. I tried making one out of cloth… let’s just say it did NOT end well, and I’m glad my husband wasn’t around to witness it since I would never live it down.  The filter will pay for itself in a few months, and I should be able to get many moons of good use out of it; in fact, we could pass it down from generation to generation, like a quirky heirloom – Great Great Grandma Witwer’s Golden Coffee Strainer. Bonus? The landfills will be spared the 365+ paper coffee filters we go through each year, and all the resources used to produce them can go towards other things, like manufacturing the sedatives I will need to get to sleep after all that lusciousness.

Speaking of being all Environmentally Obnoxious Conscious, we gotta talk about the beans. For a whole host of reasons I won’t go into in depth here (downer), we’re switching from the cheapie stuff we normally use to the very reasonably priced Trader Joe's Organic Fair Trade Shade Grown Ethiopian. The gist is that it’s best to buy shade grown, fair trade, organic java - it prevents deforestation, ensures the farmers get a fair wage for their beans, and isn't slathered in pesticides, herbicides, and fungicides (you can research this on your own if it's of interest). To foof it up, you can mix spices like cinnamon and cardamom in with the grounds, add some vanilla, a bit of cocoa powder, or a little shot of somethin’ to warm your bones (*wink*).

So there we are. Now, put on your jammies and slippers, grab the paper, and pad on up here to our house – we’ll have cawfee and tawk.  You bring the prune Danish.

Sebastian pouring Dada a cuppa joe (right into his lap - thank heavens it's empty! The kid's gonna be a terrible waiter).