Day 34 - Come Fly With Me

This morning I was held for ransom by a dust bunny the size of a jackalope. It rolled into the living room, threw me to the floor, and demanded that I hand over my Miracle Mop... or else. Thankfully, Sebastian came to my rescue, and the dust bunny met an untimely demise in Sebastian's mouth. That's right people, my son ate a dust bunny this morning. Now, he didn't actually swallow it - I used the Jaws of Life to pry his mouth open so I could fish it out. But it got me thinking: I should probably clean more (gee, ya think?). It's time to get back on the Flylady bandwagon.

What is Flylady you ask? It's not a what, it's a who, and she's awesome. If you have ever despaired of getting ahold of your home, if you're living in CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrom), I highly recommend her website. I won't explain it all here - if you're interested, check it out - but the gist of it is that you gain control of your home 15 minutes at a time through routines and quick "missions". Your home is divided into zones, and, once you've finished decluttering (ie finally getting rid of that ceramic cat - yes, that one), you begin the process of keeping it clean & peaceful. I'm hopping back on the bandwagon after taking a hiatus to regain my sanity after having my son - it's high time. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go do battle with The Crud on My Countertop - it's been giving me a funny look all day, I think the dust bunny may have given it ideas.

Day 33 - The "Where Does My Time Go" Results Are In!

Before we jump into Cleaning Week, I figured I'd share the results I promised from the "Where Does my Time Go" Challenge. Drumroll please! ............. I have no free time! OK, I exaggerate. But I honestly expected to go into this experiment and find oodles of hours I could be using to learn Swahili, hand tool leather jewelry, get a tattoo, you get the picture. I won't bore you with the numbers, but at the end of the week, I only truly wasted about an hour a day. And folks, I needed to waste that time. Instead of finding more time to be wildly productive, I discovered that everyone, including you, Supermom, needs some time each day to twirl your hair and stare off into space. It's essential. So your mission today is simply to consciously waste a little time today. And a little tomorrow, and the next day, and the next....

Day 31 & 32 - Sir, Could I Interest You in a Plaid Tie?, Fabulous Weekly Wrap Up

Well folks, the time has come. My boxes in Purge-atory have reached their expiration date, and I can't even really remember what's in there beyond the basic label of "clothes" or "shoes" that I put on the outside (trust me, it's easier that way - you'll talk yourself back into ALL SORTS of things that you'll never wear because you never did). So, what now? Well, throw them out, right! Not so fast there, Speedy. We have to get rid of them in a Responsible Manner. This means giving them to someone you don't like donating them or selling them.

Here are some suggestions:
- FreeCycle - this is my very favorite. You post the items you want to get rid of by email, and people come to you to take them away. It's a great way to make sure your things find a good home with someone who really wants them. BTW - if there are things you need, you can also post "wants" - you'd be surprised what people are giving away! I've gotten everything from books to clothes drying racks, all for free + the effort of going to pick them up. Awesome!

- host a "Naked Lady" party - Relax, it's not nearly as naughty as it sounds. Get all your (similarly sized) girlfriends together, and have everybody bring all the clothes and accessories they no longer want. Put the clothes in a pile, and stand back and watch the fabric fly as everyone snags what they want! It helps to place a few mirrors around the room. Everything that's left over gets taken to Goodwill, and everyone leaves with half a dozen fabulous things!

- Goodwill - pack it up and drop it off! Salvation Army is another great option.

- consignment store - Fabulous if you have items that are a bit more high-end and still in excellent condition (ex: those Manolo Blaniks you bought when you still had a job and only wore once because they nearly crippled you for life). You drop these items off at the store and, if they sell, you receive a portion of the selling price.

- Craigs List or EBay - Particularly good for "lots" - bundles of baby clothes, skirts, shirts, etc. There are rules for sellers, and you really have to watch for scam artists on Craigs List. The upside? You might get a nice price for gently used items. The downside? You may have to pack your items up and ship them out, post detailed pictures of the items, etc. If this is something you can trust yourself to do without going INSANE, have at it. I tried to get it together enough, but I had so much stuff to get rid of, I got overwhelmed & the boxes sat for two weeks in my hallway. Not simple, not good, not for me.

- yard sale - If you have a lot of fabulous items (and a yard), this might be worth it. Yard sales aren't exactly an option for New Yorkers, so that's out for me. It's also one of those options that, in this season of my life, requires too much effort for too little return.

This round? FreeCycle won out - I just want the bags and boxes out of my hallway. In the future, I may try to make some money off my things as I get rid of them, but for now, I choose my sanity over cash (if I didn't have two huge corporate shows to design this month, it might be a different story). At the end of the day, the "lift" and sense of freedom I get from flinging and purging is what I need right now. And a massage, I need one of those too. And a kitten. Or a cannoli. With chocolate.

Day 32 - Fabulous Weekly Wrap Up

Well kids, this week we:

- paid homage to our crock pots
- pared down the traditional medicine cabinet
- beefed up the hippy-dippy-homeopathic-herbal-but-no-chanting medicine cabinet
- freed the exiles from Purge-atory

Next week? Brace yourselves - we're tackling Housecleaning. Get out your tiaras!

Day 30 - The Hippy-Dippy Medicine Cabinet

I admit it. I am a little crunchy (but just a little - you can't strip me of my city-girl cred yet - I only eat tofu ironically. Boo yah, hipsters). One of the places said crunchiness manifests itself is in my medicine cabinet. Yesterday we looked at the essentials in traditional medicine, but what about alternatives? Below are some of my favorites that don't involve weird processes like fermenting or sprouting or astral projection. Or chanting. For all of my patchouli-wearing crystal-loving friends who LIKE to ferment, sprout, project and chant, have at it - I love you crazy kids. Speaking of kids, keep in mind that there are different guidelines for children & adults when dealing with traditional and alternative meds - check with a reputable source before dosing your young 'un with stuff.

Coughs & Sore Throats:
- organic and all-natural cough drops work as well as anything else for a dry, scratch throat and cough
- honey is a pretty effective cough suppressant - read all about it (now remember - NEVER give honey to children under one year of age - risk of botulism)
- Throat Coat tea tastes kind of oogy, but works well - slippery elm bark
- oscillococcinum - homeopathic flu treatment, best in the early stages

Stuffy Nose, Allergies
- neti pot

Tummy Trouble:
- peppermint tea
- candied ginger (or ginger in any form, really - whatever you can get down)
- papaya or pineapple enzymes

Bad Bruises or Muscles Strains/Sprains
- arnica gel
- ace or neoprene bandages/braces
- Epsom salts

Insomnia
- Sleepy time Tea from Celestial Seasonings
- a healthy shot of something alcoholic (occasionally, people, occasionally)

Skin Afflictions
- aloe vera (right out of the plant)
- tea tree oil - like nature's neosporin (anti fungal, antimicrobial, etc.)

Therapies:
- acupuncture works wonders on inflammation, endocrine issues, chronic pain, etc.

Preventative
- probiotics, in pill or food form
- neti pot (great when you've been exposed to a cold or feel early symptoms)
- sleep & good nutrition (quit that eye rolling - you know I'm right)

This list is by no means exhaustive, this is just what I have and use. Do you have any that you and your family can't live without? Share! Unless of course it involves fermenting, sprouting...

Day 29 - The Other Use for Handbags

I was the girl who threw up on the subway yesterday. Into my handbag. Oh yes, I was that girl. I guess I ate something that didn't agree with me, or maybe it was that entire cake I had with lunch? Who knows. The bottom line is that I spent the rest of the night paying for whatever sin I had committed to make me deserve that. Which brings me to today's topic: illness.

Nothing makes you appreciate good health more than a night worshiping at the Great Porcelain Throne. It got me thinking: out of the great pantheon of remedies, what do we really need to have in our medicine cabinet? I mean, let's face it, the only thing I use more than once a year is the ibuprofen. How little can I really get away with having in there?

- acetaminophen for fever reduction, headaches
- ibuprofen for reducing inflammation
- nasal spray for colds
- band aids, gauze pads
- ace bandage
- thermometer
- Pepto Bismol tablets for tummy issues (if you're prone to digestive drama)
- calamine or cortisone lotion for freaky skin rashes (if you're prone to rolling in poison ivy)

Beyond that, whatever you personally use on a regular basis. Half the stuff out there doesn't really work (cough suppressants are a joke), and the other half we buy when we need it and let the rest expire (I had TheraFlu from 1995!). Besides, beyond the basics like knocking out a fever or clearing a stuffy nose, rest, fluids, and a good margarita take care of 90% of what ails you. Hmmm. Margaritas.....

Day 28 - Ode to My Crock Pot

Until Sebastian is old enough to be farmed out for hard labor, I have the next best thing -an indentured servant, my crock pot. Seriously? I throw a bunch of heaven-only-knows-what in there in the morning, and by the time dinner rolls around, I have delicious, gourmet heaven-knows-what. For example, tonight I'm making Crisper Soup - you take whatever looks like it's about to go south in your crisper, add chicken stock & herbs, turn on your slow cooker, and puree half when it's done. The result is waaaaaaaaay yummier than you'd expect. So, from here on out, I'm making everything I can in my crock pot, and doubling the recipe to freeze it.

If you're new to crock pot cooking, I highly recommend checking out Leanne Ely's site Saving Dinner. She has some AMAZING options: menu mailers (she emails you weekly crock pot recipes complete with a grocery list), freezer menus (you assemble the recipes & freeze them), e-books, and more. I'm a big fan!

Day 27 - Fabulous Weekly Wrap Up

Day 27 - Fabulous Weekly Wrap Up
Whew - what a whirlwind of a wonderful week! I took the ankle biter down to visit his NC grandparents, and was spoiled within an inch of my life; a girl could get used to this! So this week we:

- said sayonara to our sad, unloved magazine subscriptions
- avoided stupid airplane fees by packing light and playing the harried mama card
- meditated on the stuffiness of stuff
- and moved our rear ends just a little more than we did the day before (yes, walking down the street to pick up a pizza does count...shut up)
- vowed to find out where the heck all that free time (heh heh) is slipping off to

Nutty week next week - seems like a good time to see where convenience fits into all this simplicity hoo hah! I feel an Ode to My Crock Pot coming on...

Day 26 - The Shut-In

Today, I actually wanted to leave the house. Allow me to explain. You see, those that know me are familiar with my hermit-like ways - I am the ultimate home body. I have grand plans for going to this museum or that party, and inevitably, when the time comes, I find that I just want to stay home to do home-y things, catch up on my to do list, and putter around my apartment muttering to myself. But, since I'm staying with the folks and am relieved of all the usual prep and upkeep of home life (no meals to cook, shelves to dust, rodents to dispatch of, etc.), I'm suddenly... a little stir crazy. It got me thinking - what exactly am I always so busy doing? And, given that I only have a finite number of days on this planet, shouldn't I get busy with the REALLY important stuff? Like that macrame class I've been putting off?

Each week has 168 hours. Let's have a good laugh and say that 56 of those hours will be spent sleeping, that's 112 hours left. 5 hours a week for teaching, about 28 spent slaving away on assorted household drudgery, that's 79 hours left. Do you see where I'm going with this? Where exactly is my time being spent when I'm home? I have a sinking suspicion that I'm going to find more than a few surprising time-sucks hidden in there with the child wrangling and day to day heroics. So, when I get home Sunday, I'm going to start keeping track. I hereby promise to publish the unpolished (and no doubt appalling) results, no matter how embarrassing. In fact, I invite you to do the same! What's your most embarrassing time waster? If you're an obnoxiously functional and effortlessly efficient person, make something up (or we'll all secretly hate you).

Day 25 - Getting My Gruve On

I used to be uber-active by virtue of my job (you try being sedentary on the trapeze). I would work out for an hour every day, walk at least 45 minutes around town, train on assorted apparatus, you get the picture. Well… let’s just say that my days look really different now.

Enter the Gruve. You wear it like a pedometer and it calculates your daily calorie burn (it’s pretty durned accurate too – it matched up very closely with my heart rate monitor). If you sit on your tush too long, it tases you vibrates to tell you to get a move on, and a small light lets you know where you are on the way to your daily burn goal by flashing red, orange, yellow, blue, or green. Set up is really easy; the first week is a baseline week, then if you get to green for 14 days, it ups your goal a bit. The idea is to get you moving more every day in the little things you do – taking the stairs, pacing while talking on the phone,  hog-tying your children, etc.

The verdict? Love. I’m ridiculously motivated to get to green every day. What I DON’T love is realizing how much activity it actually takes to work off that Cinnabon I ate last week. Nothing is more sobering than seeing that hour I spent watching “Project Runway” show up as a sad 24 calories burned – does lifting a spoon count for nothing people??!! I suppose not. Well, maybe if I lift it twice as fast…

Days 22, 23, & 24 - "Mag Hag", "On the Road Again", and "Stuffiness"

Whoooooooo lawzy, what a crazy few days! You know, the kind where you are feverishly praying that time will warp and expand so you can cram everything into 24 hours or less and not have your brain leak out your ears? Yes, those kind of days. (note: Stephen Hawking - if you are reading this blog, and I know that you are, could you please start working on this instead of mathematically proving or disproving the existence of God? This is much more useful. Thank you!)

Day 22 - Mag Hag
I am a magazine whore. In the pre-baby universe, I would whoop gleefully whenever a glossy packet of perky tidbits and fashionable frippery would land in my mailbox. I would pop them in my purse and spend many a happy moment poring over page after page of "Breathe Your Way to Boudoir Bliss" or "Firm Your Abs and Tighten Your Tushie While Folding Origami". I had even been known to pull out dozens of articles and catalogue them for later. But now? Boudoir bliss is an unbroken night of sleep and I haven't found my abs yet to tighten them. My once-beloved magazines are piling up in a grand heap and, instead of inspiring mini-makeovers and coital contortion (sorry Mom), they're now giving the gift of guilt. So... deep breath....
I'm letting the subscriptions run out. All of them. Here's the beauty of my plan: if I ever get to the point where I really miss one or two, I can re-subscribe. Genius, right? Thank you, I thought so too.

Day 23 - On the Road Again
I'm down in the fine state of North Carolina for the week hanging out with the parental unit, snarfing down Mom's home cooking (best. food. ever.), and showing off my spectacular progeny - sweeeeet! I flew down yesterday, and am celebrating a small triumph in air travel: I avoided a checked baggage fee. That's right people - I packed for myself & the baby for one week in a carry-on (you can't see me, but right now I'm doing a spectacular victory dance). Now, this won't work for everybody, and I had to make a few concessions (like not cloth diapering this week), but saving $50 is nothing to sneeze at, and hey - it more than paid for those eco-diapers. Here's what worked well:
- earlier in the summer, I sewed two reversible skirts - took those, some t-shirts, & one workout ensemble; the young un got one outfit per day
- no jammies - I sleep in the T shirt I wore during the day and the boobah sleeps in the onesie he romped in and a sleep sack
- I wore my jeans, sneakers/running shoes, and sweater on the plane (the bulky stuff) - so did the Grumpasaurus

But the main thing? I kept in mind that I rarely use the "kitchen sinks" I bring just in case. It helps too that there's a washing machine at my disposal (many hotels have these too), and a Walmart just a stones throw away if I need them. So far so good! Now, if you'll excuse me, Mommy has just made me an omelet. There's no place like (your parent's) home!

Day 24 - Stuffiness
Today's post is a simple observation: the less stuff you have, the less stuff you have to deal with/worry about/dust/collect/launder/repair/store/hide/corral/arrange/rearrange/donate/organize/baby proof/set up/tear down/move/pay for/return/turn on/turn off/insure/refill/shore up/inspect/throw out. In short, your stuff takes energy, of which you only have so much. Less stuff = more energy = more Living. Let's bless ourselves and others by donating STUFF (Something That Undermines Family Fun - thank you Flylady!) to others who need it. Then eat cake go for a run (heh heh) with all that new-found oomph! :)

Day 21 - Fabulous Weekly Round-up

OY! People, it's a miracle I survived this week: the Great Closet Purge of 2010. From boobie baskets to rhinestone lizards, I've gone through it ALL and kept only what I wear and love. Woot!

I watched an episode (or four) of "Hoarders" yesterday - oh. my. gosh. Wowzas! Have you seen this craziness? It chronicles a week in the life of chronic hoarders who are given the opportunity to work with an organization team & a therapist to get rid of the clutter. When I say clutter, what I actually mean is stuff/garbage/mice piled literally floor to ceiling, with only a small path to get from room to room. After I finished hyperventilating, I self-medicated with chocolate chips, and took a feather duster to everything that wasn't wearing a diaper. So, I dedicate the Great Closet Purge of 2010 to all those hoarders out there - may you find freedom in flinging. This lizard's for you.

Days 19 & 20 - Earrings and Purses and Hats - Oh My!

I have spent the past two days ankle deep in jewelry, scarves, purses, and scrunchies (yes, scrunchies - I wear them in the privacy of my own home, along with my housekeeping tiara and my 12 year old Isotoner slippers. And while we're at it, I religiously occasionally watch America's Next Top Model, sleep with my hair in a Little House on the Prairie braid, and have been known to down entire birthday cakes in one sitting. So there. But I digress...).

I am coming to the end of The Great Closet Purge of 2010, and I had a sobering realization as I looked at the 10+ grocery bags of clothes headed out for donation: I have wasted a lot of money on clothes, shoes, purses, etc. that I never really wore, when I could have spent that money on something more valuable like travel, or pie. It got me wondering: how much money has slipped through my fingers? I mean, sure it's great for the economy (of China), but why exactly did I think I needed a rhinestone encrusted lizard pin?

Now is not the time, but at some point this year, I am going to challenge myself to not spend $$ on anything that's not completely essential for one month. I wonder how I'd do? Ha - I'd probably break down in the first week and buy legwarmers or scented candles. Sigh... anybody want a lizard pin?

Day 18 - Don't Judge Me, or My Plastic Purple Earrings from 1986

Today, I will simply regale you with a list of things I found in my closet, which are now going to some teenage girl in outer Queens who will look much, much better in them than I did. I swear, I'm not making this up.

- frilly hot pink lace-up corset
- purposefully ripped tank top with flames on it
- rainbow toe socks
- Indian wrap skirts shedding handfuls of sequins
- silver lame' cami with red glitter roses
- fuzzy zebra-print booty shorts
- "mirrored ball" holographic dress (with matching silver platform heels)
- T shirt that says, "Inside this body is a skinny person trying to get out. I ate her." given to me by an ex boyfriend many moons ago. He thought it was funny. That's why he's an ex.

Honestly, it's like I was possessed by the spirit of Ru Paul. Well, mama can't work it like she used to (nor does she care to, for that matter). I'm trading in my rhinestones for gallstones touchstones, retiring my BeDazzler, and leaving the booty shorts to gals with a bit less booty.

Day 17 - The Over-the-Shoulder-Boulder-Holder

A long time ago, in a (pre-baby) galaxy far far away, I was able to frolic through the boroughs of New York in nothing more than a cami with a shelf bra, or perhaps a tissue-light bandeau gracing my bosom. You see, I had no boobs. Those days are so over. Thank you, pregnancy! Now, I wouldn't think of leaving the house without a double barreled catapult to house my rockin' rack. But how many boobie baskets does a girl really need? Never really having required one, I did some homework.

Step one: go get fitted. NOT. Please - I think I'll skip the fitting until I'm the same size for more than two hours (thank you, breastfeeding!). Next!

Step two: select. According to Kristin the Lingerie Expert, you only need a total of 4-5 boob holsters, all in NUDE: 2-3 regular everyday bras, 1 convertible, and one sports bra (+ 3 nursing bras). That's it.

So ladies, our challenge tonight is to fling those tired flopper stoppers, and for heavens sake get rid of the white ones. Ta-ta(s) for now!

Day 16 - Unmentionables

Let's talk panties! Not so fast, pervy dude to my left - this conversation is for ladies only. I'm gonna move over here, OK? You stay right there. For a brief history of undies, may I suggest this Wikipedia article? Very informative, even if it is totally weird that you're reading about underwear. At work. Anyway, from sacred undergarments to thong th-thong thong thongs, undies are a foundational piece of the wardrobe as a whole. Speaking of holes, who here is hanging on to panties with (unintentional) holes or elastic that has gone the way of the dinosaurs? Yeah, me too. Well, no longer.

Today, I tossed my tired drawers. While I was at it, I also purged those fabulously matronly nursing bras made of industrial strength Teflon, and most of my old thongs (bacteria highway, people). You deserve a pair of panties (or several even!) that do not droop, roll, bunch, or scream "I bought these 3 for $5 at the drugstore".

Tomorrow, we take a good look at the over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders; but, until then, check out my friend Kristyn Burtt's blog if you take your underwear a bit more seriously than I take mine. Happy flinging!

Day 15 - An Inconvenient Truth

Have you ever caught a glimpse of yourself in a store window or a mirror when you weren't expecting it? You know, before you've had a chance to suck in your stomach, raise your eyebrows oh-so-slightly, and point your boobs northward? Happened to me today, and I almost stumbled into heavy traffic in shock. I'll spare you the gory details, but let's just say it wasn't pretty. It wasn't at ALL pretty. It's time to tackle the wardrobe, people.

Today, I braved my chest of drawers which houses, among other things, my un-ironic tee shirt collection (for making fun of the hipsters in Williamsburg), sweat pants for extravagant lounging, and assorted tanks that had long since "crossed over". I filled three paper grocery bags with enough frump-wear to clothe new mamas all over the tri-state area! Among the gems I unearthed was a pair of sweats with writting on the butt (classy), an off-the-shoulder sweatshirt from the Flashdance era, and assorted religious "witness wear" - guaranteed to spark some lively conversations with bored atheists I meet on the train. I'll be so sorry to miss out on that fun because.... IT'S ALL GETTING FREECYCLED!

So, what did I learn today? Workout wear is for exercise only, and should not be mistaken for fashion - no matter what's written across the butt.

Day 14 - Fabulous Weekly Wrap-up!

Well campers, this week we:

- gave our faaaabulous (but torturous) shoes to drag queens charity
- adjusted our time-suck internet habits
- cleaned out our wallets & sent all cash to me
- went to bed already (you look amazing!)
- actually boarded a plane with a carry-on weighing less than 42 lbs

Superb! Next week is Back to School Week - tackling closets, office supplies, and lunches. Have a lovely Labor Day!!!!

Day 13 - I Hate Flying

You too? Sit down, let’s chat. Today, I am blogging to you from friendly Erie, PA, home of Long’s School of Dance (http://www.longschoolofdance.com/ ). Each year, these fine folks fly me out as a guest choreographer to teach some aerial silk workshops and help them put together the aerial component of their upcoming season. So how did I get here? I flew through a hurricane, people.

When I left the house, the fuzzy halo of frizz around my head predicted a humid day in NYC. As I hoofed it to the subway, I quickly realized that my chosen ensemble had a fatal flaw: rogue glitter. I was wearing a bright yellow Indian-inspired tee shirt (that I’m at least 5 10 years too old for) with glitter on it, and the sparkles EXPLODED as I walked. By the time I stepped onto the train, my luggage and I had reached drag queen status – it was both awesome and terrifying… and twinkly.

I checked in with no drama, and lined up for stupidity insanity security. These folks had apparently never seen a breast pump because they questioned me about it until I pantomimed what it was for (heh heh – that shut ‘em up!). Hilarity ensued. After a quick stop at Starbucks (gift card!), I wheeled up to my gate to find a delay. SHOCKING! Four lattes, two magazines, and a soggy turkey sandwich later, I plopped myself down on the plane next to a woman with a blue plastic flower sprouting from her head. Ummmm…. bold fashion choice (says the human disco ball).


I will spare you the gory details of my flights, but this leads me to today’s topic: simple travel. Remember the days when you just put your bag on the conveyor belt, walked through the metal detector, and got on the plane? Those days are gooooooooone, people. Air travel now requires all the preparation previously reserved for spinal cord micro-surgery. It begs the question: what does one really need to travel comfortably?

Enter: the simplified packing list! Turns out, you can travel with a lot less than you’d think. I’ll include the carry on list here; zap me an email if you’d like a copy of the complete list, with or without child in tow. Let’s just say I cut the size of my bag down to 1/3 of what I usually tote. And you know what? I didn’t miss a single thing. Happy packing!

The Fully Fabulous Carry-On
- pared down wallet (ID, cash, one credit card, ATM card, insurance card)
- tech bag (ziplock or zippered see-thru pouch) – cell phone, iPod
- lap top
- ONE book, ONE magazine
- empty stainless steel water bottle
- small tin of balm for lips and other dry bits (Smith’s Rosebud Salve is a good one)

Done. Now, where’s the nice flight attendant with that drink cart?

Days 11 & 12 - Z's and G's

Day 11 - Go to Bed Already!
I passed out at 8:45 last night. Now, as any mom of an ankle (or, in Sebastian's case, TOE) biter will tell you, good sleep is our Shangrila. It's not only that you have one ear constantly tuned to WAA (the all night baby station), but even if your munchkin sleeps through the night, it's so durned hard to get to bed at a decent hour. I'm busy being "productive". The heady freedom of baby bedtime is unparalleled - and I cannot help but try to squeeze every second of grown-up time in before I stagger to bed. Of course, we all know what happens next: I close my eyes, and BAM - it's 5:30 and Sebastian has decided it's an AWESOME time to start the morning. So, I don't get anything done all day because I'm practically cross-eyed with exhaustion and drooling on myself in public (yes, that really happened, but it was on the subway, so my fellow passengers just figured I was on something). So my bedtime is now 10:00, let's see if I can actually make myself turn off YouTube and hit the hay. I'll just remind myself how NICE it is to be able to think complete thoughts, and not embarrass myself on public transit.

Day 12 - Stick 'Em Up
Oh lawzy, I pity the thief who steals my wallet. He would have to wade through so many gift cards, discount cards, buttons, safety pins, spare change, receipts, and paper clips that he might actually miss the money! So in the interests of making it easier on you, Mr Mugger, today I simplified my wallet. You are welcome. This one was a real toughie because, like any good New Yorker, I love a discount and have signed up for every free membership card known to man; from pharmacies to book stores, if there's a bargain to be had, I'm your woman.

Wallet Simplification 101
1. Open wallet, brace for explosion of paper, buttons, cards, etc.
2. Empty wallet. Hand me the cash. Thank you.
3. Put back only what you use at least once a week, not once a leap year.
4. Decide what to do with everything else (put frequent flyer cards in carry on bag or travel folder, use up those gift cards, etc.)

I found gift cards I've had for over two years! What exactly am I waiting for? I'll tell you: the moment when the universe lines up just so and something goes on sale AND I have a coupon AND a gift card. Well, that works great for stores like Old Navy who have awesome sales & weekly coupons, but for some places? No coupons and cruddy sales - that's probably why someone got you the gift card. So, I spent it, and Sebastian got his very own bean bag chair. And I? Well, I got the use of my shoulder back now that I'm not carrying 25 lbs worth of extra clutter in my wallet.