The Amish are nothing if not consistent. Plain dress, plain worship, plain speech. It’s the last one I’m trying to tackle at the moment, and I don’t mind telling you that I’m a-gettin’ mah butt whooped. See, I’m not someone who speaks plainly (sometimes candidly, but that’s another matter altogether). Over the past few years, I’ve been sucked into all manner of Decidedly Un-plain Speech (shut up, grammar police): I’ve said yes when I meant no, gossiped, said things behind some people’s backs that I wouldn’t say to their faces, told fibs (okay, and a couple of whoppers), held my tongue when I should have spoken up, and started fighting passive aggression with (you guessed it) passive aggression. It’s created more problems than it’s solved, so what if I just… quit it? What would happen if I:
· Actually said what I meant? “No thank you, I’m not a big fan of Brussels sprouts and tomato aspic.”
· Avoided gossip? Oy – I may spontaneously combust.
· Always spoke of others as if they were in the room? (I ask you – where’s the fun in that?!)
· Told nothing but the truth? “I’m late because I was watching “The Real Housewives of NY”. And that sweater makes you look like a hooker.” (Hmmmmm…… gotta figure out how to NOT say things too…)
· Refused to get sucked into other people’s messed up dynamics? Hey – just because you’re a passive aggressive control freak busybody doesn’t mean I have to play along. I have my own ego-mania with narcissistic tendencies to deal with.
Well, I’m going to give it a try. OK, tries. If someone doesn’t stab me, hey – it just might be a good thing! Now, about that sweater….