I've been reading a lot lately about outsourcing your life. Well, not the good parts - the stuff you hate (why oh WHY can't we make this work with exercise?). Everything is fair game - from hiring folks to dust your knick-knacks and scrub your toilet, to having
a virtual personal assistant from India research the best prices on walnuts; you can outsource just about ANYTHING. To get an idea of how far this can go,
here's a great article by A.J. Jacobs, who took this to his usual hilarious extremes.
So, what do I want to outsource? Brace yourselves, Bad Mommy Confession coming up: I outsourced taking my son to the park. I KNOW! Bad Mommy! But I have to tell you - I absolutely
loathe the park. The hovering and the screaming kids and the sunscreen and I JUST HATE IT. Now, if you have your Judgy-McJudge-erton hat on, you can
kiss my luminous white behind take a moment to simmer down now. Because I will get all in your face (oooh - look out! She's throwin' attitude like she from Brooklyn!). I found a lovely college student who takes him to the park three days a week and
it just may be the best money we've ever spent. Keep in mind that I make Marty do park duty when he's home, it's just when I'm pretending to be a single mommy that I pay someone to take my child away.
I love this whole idea of outsourcing! It's got me thinking about what else I could pay other people to do. Does ordering takeout count as "hiring a chef"? Perhaps it's a stretch, but when business is brisk and Mama's holding down the fort solo, I may "aspire to hire" a little extra help. Besides, it keeps those teenagers out of trouble and builds character! If you're a woman who does it all, God bless you. I don't want to hear about it.
Heck, yes. I hate the playground, too. We have one with a spray park, right behind the jail(!) of all places, and the classayest people ever are there. I wish I could outsource the spray park.
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