Alright gentlemen, stop right here. I sincerely doubt that you will want to venture into today's territory, so I'm giving you an option to turn around, go back where you came from, and forget everything you've seen here. Today's topic is of a (*delicate cough*) feminine nature. Look at 'em run, girls! This post is not for the faint of heart - if you're shy or squeamish, you've been warned.
Alright. Doesn't this remind you of the day in fifth grade where they made all the girls go to the gym to watch The Movie? And how you thought you'd just die? Well, today we're talking periods - The Curse, Aunt Flo, TOM (Time Of the Month), menstrooooooooooation. Now, before we get all "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret", I assure you, Dear Reader, that I will treat this topic with all the reserve and subtlety that you've come to expect from my blog..... OK, I'm about as subtle as a sledgehammer, so let's get on with it, shall we?
I didn't have to worry about these shenanigans during my pregnancy, or during the first 16 months of breastfeeding (all you mamas-to-be considering breastfeeding - another perk!!!!!), so let's just say I was surprised to find this issue back on my radar a few months ago, but also kind of happy that the plumbing seems to be in working order again. What was also surprising was my reaction to my almost forgotten stash of tampons, panty liners, etc. I looked in the bin and saw, well, a few issues I hadn't considered before: the wasteful packaging & all the $$ & resources that went into it, the hyper-marketing and subtle message that it's gross and by the way your vagina should smell like a rose garden, and the sheer volume of supplies (maxis, minis, super, vortex, etc). So, I thought it might be worth considering some other options - let's see what's out there! If it doesn't work out, hey - there's a CVS four blocks down!
We cloth diaper Sebastian, but I honestly hadn't considered that my many of my "monthlies" are made of the same ultra-absorbent gels, plastic (read: oil) based shells, and paper packaging. In fact, the average woman will go through 10,000+ disposable feminine products in her lifetime - ouch! Our decision to cloth diaper was largely an environmental one, so could I apply the same standard to myself? Rephrase did I want to apply the same standard to myself? Not really, but lest I be labeled a hypocrite, I figured I ought to see what my options are. Enter Luna Pads. Just like a cloth diaper, you use, wash, and reuse these cloth pads. You can make them yourself too (I'm going to try this first - they're kind of pricey!) - call Martha! I think I have a craft for her next show.
The next option I looked into is the Diva Cup. This is a reusable doohickey that looks a lot like an elongated diaphragm, but instead of keeping the swimmers out, it collects menstrual flow. OK, who am I becoming that I would even consider this???!!!! But to be fair, it has a lot to recommend it, and I ordered one today to try it out. Jeez - next thing you know, I'll be out nekkid in Central Park during a full moon, chanting and dancing in celebration of the Feminine Spirit. I'm a New Yorker - we don't do that (or if we do, we surely don't talk about it).
The other option, of course, is to use all "green" supplies. But this whole experiment is about not being afraid to do things a little differently, at least for awhile. I may use a combination of all three methods, since I don't know that any one thing is the answer to my simple prayers, and who knows? I may find an option that works better than what I'm doing already. Anyone else have any experience or thoughts about this? And now, you know way too much about me. So let's avoid eye contact for awhile, and we can forget we ever had this conversation. Back to class, girls!
